I don't have any stats today because yesturday was my free day and I'm proud to say that I did not go too crazy. I had a lot of fun that included Reisens, Tortilla chips, pizza and cookie brownies but I didn't go crazy.
I titled this entry one of my favorite quotes about health. It's about progress not perfection. I'll title my blog this quote after everyone of my free days because my free day is about the fact that I'm not perfect. I am making progress but I'm not perfect and I'll drive myself mad if I only think about all the ways I'm not perfect instead of all the ways I've progressed.
Last night I asked TJ what he loved about my body because it's good for me to see myself through his eyes. He said he loves it all and then I asked him if he'd be sad if any part of my body changed a lot through this whole process. I expected him to make some crack about my boobs getting smaller or something but instead he told me last night the one thing he'd like to see change is for me to have more confidence about my body. That is doesn't matter what size I am (and he's loved me when I've weighed 150 and on our wedding day when I weighed 220) I am at my most sexy when I love myself. First off, how amazing is he? and second, I know he's right but I don't know how to do it. If any of you do, please share it with me.
I used to think that once I found someone like TJ it would help my flawed thinking about my body but I know that's not true. Self confidence isn't found in anyone else, but for the life of me I can't figure out how to just get it. I was talking with a friend of mine and we said that if someone asked most women to make a list their body's ten biggest flaws, they could write it five mins and come up with more than ten. If someone asked the same women to write the ten best things about their bodies my friend and I both agreed that we'd struggle to get ten and it would take a while. Why is that? I mean really? Why is it easier to see the bad in ourselves instead of the good. I honestly don't know.
I don't know why most women would rather be a size 2 or 4 when most men think a size 6 and 8 is sexier.
I don't know and I feel like a bad feminist for not knowing. I'd love to say it's the fashion industry and hollywood but that feels like such a cop out. I feel more intellegent than to be seduced by an actress in a movie or a picture in a magazine, but I don't know.
Maybe that should be the title of this post...I don't know.
It took me a really long time to be comfortable with my body. I'm not sure how it happened or when, but I am a very confident person and very comfortable with myself. My thinking is that I have amazing friends and family who love me regardless how much I weigh and anyone who doesn't want to get to know me because of how I look is losing out. I mean, let's face it, I'm awesome! I have done every diet known to man, not necessarily to fit in with others' designs, but to become the best person I can be. Does that make sense? I want to lose the weight to be healthy and to love the way I look in the mirror, but these are goals for me and me alone. I am comfortable with who I am whether I weigh 180 lbs. or 130. Whether I'm a size 16 or a size 6. I don't know what advice to give you, just learn to love who you are and everything about you, even if that means loving your love handles. :)
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